Two Cents


"The No. 1 rule is: people hate flop sweat. It doesn't matter what color shirt your handlers tell you to wear, Al. If the pits are darker than Ann Rice's dream journal, you're in trouble."

-Dennis Miller's rant on defeated and departed former Vice President Gore, as excerpted from

"No wonder fat Yanks love it-just think of all the opportunities to open another six-pack and shovel another burger down the throat."

-Britain's Daily Mirror on the Super Bowl, as quoted in Slate magazine.

"Its target viewers, the youth demographic, are the most notoriously fickle audience in television, and they might peruse the new Survivor with a 'been there, done that' mind-set."

-John Carman, San Francisco Chronicle, on the uncertainties facing Survivor: The Australian Outback despite the hype.

"We cannot afford additional losses and erosions of audience in the weak marketplace, given the numbers of choices now available to the viewer. A strike is lemmings-like behavior on both sides."

-Peter Roth, president of Warner Bros. Television, voicing his concerns in the Baltimore Sun, on the impact of an expected national strike by members of the Writers Guild of America.

"Women of Wrestling: Stone Cold Steve Austin and the Rock have nothing on Patty Pizzazz, Poison, and Thug. They've got 'all the moves, all the heat, all the action.' And all the implants that can fit into a boxing ring."

-Betsy Streisand, U.S. News & World Report, on a syndicated show that may be coming to a TV near you.

"Instead, the producers chose Gerard Butler (Dracula 2000), who looks like a bearded Billy Ray Cyrus and speaks every line as if he's trying English for the first time."

Mark A. Perigard, Boston Herald, on the star of USA's Attila's thespian shortcomings.

"The scheduling of the two series in the same time period is the equivalent of putting two undefeated teams on the field for the Super Bowl."

-Richard Huff, in the (New York) Daily News, on Thursday night's face-off between CBS' Survivor and NBC's Friends.


With the marriage of AOL Time Warner complete, the word "fired" has set CNN ablaze. Some ex-employees are not going quiet "into that good night." What follows is an excerpt from a first-person article written for The New York Times
by former CNN correspondent Laura Rowley, who describes when the blade came her way:

"Just then, the ax man delivered the unkindest cut of all: 'Now, I'll be escorting you to your desk. We need you out of the building in an hour. 'He torpedoed my carefully crafted façade. I was so stunned that I actually thought for a moment that he was joking. 'Escort me out?' I gasped. 'Are you (here I swallowed a potent curse word) kidding me? I've worked my butt off for five years and you're going to escort me out..

" 'You think I'm going to take something? You think I spent five years here and I'm going to take something?' I shouted, sounding not unlike Robert DeNiro in Taxi Driver. 'I'm going back to my desk, I'm getting my kids' pictures and drawings, I'm going to give stories I shot last week to another producer-and I'm going to go home when I am finished. And you are not coming with me!' My speech was followed by the mother of all style faux pas: tears of fury. The ax man grew alarmed. He and the Big Cheese stepped outside to consult."