"Did you know that I invented the environment?''

-Al Gore, during a commercial break taping of MTV's Choose or Lose, on being told by the moderator the next segment would deal with the Internet and the environment.

"Hollywood, whether we're talking about the film or the TV side, operates on the 'easier to ask forgiveness than permission' principle. None of the executives scheduled to testify has had any sudden revelations about what his company produces or how it's sold. If they didn't know what they were doing, they wouldn't be pulling down seven- or eight-figure salaries."

-Noel Holston, Minneapolis-St. Paul's Star Tribune, on last week's senate testimony by the MPAA.

"Yes, Joe Lieberman is smiling at me now, but just wait until the sweeps. He's going to be coming at me with a broom. They're re-editing my pilot so the word 'rat' appears across my bosom hundreds of times during the episode. That's sure to guarantee me tons and tons of press. Yes, those major-league a---- are going to love me."

-Bette Midler, star of the new CBS sitcom Bette, at a New York Democratic fund-raiser, as quoted in The New York Observer.

"Liberman is absolutely right. He's one of the few politicians who's willing to stand up and say that. A lot of what we do has very little to do with art. It has to do with sleaze and gratuitous sex and unnecessary violence."

Martin Sheen, in defense of Sen. Joseph Lieberman's stance against sex and violence in Hollywood, as quoted by AP Entertainment, in Long Island, New York's Newsday.

"I couldn't put a number on my sexual partners," he confesses in the upcoming issue of Maxim. "But if you want me to take a wild guess, I'll say 5,000."

-Martin Sheen's son Charlie, who is replacing Spin City's wholesome Michael J. FOX, as quoted by Amy Reiter,

"It's a clichéto joke about how it's like watching paint dry, but, when the final history of TV is written, Big Brother will be considered more important than the better and more highly rated Survivor."

-Robert Thompson, founding director of Syracuse University's Center for the Study of Popular Television, on the viewers of Big Brother collaborating on the Internet and affecting plot changes on the show, as quoted by David Kronke, Los Angeles Daily News.