Ferguson's Literary Offering


Late Late Show host Craig Ferguson’s first novel, Between the Bridge and the River, comes out April 10, and if you’re expecting a lurid roman à clef about the TV business, forget it. This is true literary fiction. Go read Bill O’Reilly’s Those Who Trespass.

But Ferguson’s book does offer some choice words about the business that probably won’t put it high on CNN host Larry King’s reading list.

During a scene in which a character flips on his hotel TV set, Ferguson—er, the narrator—winds up with a glib appraisal of the "Cable News Network," which, he says, "promised up-to-the-minute news reports twenty-four hours a day but, of course, there isn’t always news to report. So, in order to fill the airtime with something that felt like news, the Cable News people like to put on interview shows."

Here’s where King might want to stop reading.

"The interview show that was airing," the narrator continues, "was hosted by a gentleman named Larry King, a pompous narcissist who thought he was a tough intellectual because he wore suspenders and had a voice that sounded like an aged camel in sexual ecstasy."

Snap! You didn’t just make fun of Larry’s suspenders, did you?

Neither Ferguson nor King responded to our inquiries. But Flash! suspects that Ferguson—who routinely, um, impersonates King on The Late Late Show—meant it all in jest.

Still, we feel that Ferguson should know that, while King may not be an intellectual, the man who grew up Larry Zieger in Brooklyn’s Bensonhurst neighborhood was once in a gang called the Warriors and was known on the street as Zeke the Creek the Mouth Piece. (Look it up.)

Now, how tough is that?