Tech Types are supposed to be drier than the Sahara in summer. But Association for Maximum Television President David Donovan kicked off a speech to the Media Institute in Washington about "cliff effect" interference and performance characteristics of unlicensed transmitters with some definitions to help us non-tech types navigate the digital future (ripped straight from the speech copy, which is why it is all caps):
MEGAHERTZ: A BROKEN LEG OR LARGE CAR RENTAL AGENCY.
DIGITAL COMPRESSION: GETTING YOUR FINGERS CAUGHT IN A CAR DOOR
SPREAD SPECTRUM: A NEW FORM OF CHEESE-WHIZ
DOWNCONVERSION: GETTING YOUR KIDS MARRIED SO YOU CAN MOVE INTO AN EXCLUSIVE ONE BEDROOM CONDO AT HILTON HEAD.
ULTRAWIDE BAND: THE WAISTLINE OF MIDDLE AGE LOBBYISTS.
Badda bum. Bisshshsh (sound of drum and cymbal rif).
By John Eggerton