"No one does tell me what to do, and I pay the price all the time. More people hate me than anybody else ... I say many things that get [Disney] mad. The censors are mad at me. The network doesn't particularly like me. I'm not a liked person. So this is all I have; you can't take that away from me."
—A mad-as-a-March-Hare Bill Maher denying Arsenio Hall's allegation that Maher's Politically Correct show must meet the approval of Michael Eisner, chairman of ABC parent The Walt Disney Co.
"I've coined new words, like 'misunderstanding' and 'Hispanically.'"
—President George W. Bush speaking at a Radio & Television Correspondents' Association dinner in Washington on March 29, as reported in Slate's Jacob Wiesberg's column, "The Complete Bushisms."
"In fact, the show isn't one whit less tasteful than its title. Laura is parading around the White House living quarters in her new red dress as tonight's premiere opens. She catches the attention of the White House's veteran housekeeper, Maggie (Marcia Wallace). 'Wow, look at you, Mrs. Bush,' Maggie says. 'You look like a hooker.'"
—San Francisco Chronicle's critic, John Carman, on the tasteless and tacky humor of Comedy Central sitcom That's My Bush.
"In the 1930s, we crowned movie stars as royalty. Eventually, that wasn't enough. We didn't want merely to see celebrity; we wanted to be it. Now people feel entitled to fame just by preening for a lens: I am filmed; therefore, I am."
—Ted Anthony, The Associated Press, on how America became a stage and reality became TV.
"Viewers and advertisers alike have decided that, when given a choice, they will choose to reject those who advocate intolerance and advance an agenda of exclusion."
—Romaine Patterson, regional spokesperson for the Gay and Lesbian Alliance Against Defamation, reacting to Paramount's decision to cancel Dr. Laura, as reported by Joel Brown of The Boston Herald.
"There were 50 million other issues. They were trying to pigeonhole me as though my whole life were surrounded by what their whole life is surrounded with."
—Dr. Laura Schlessinger speaking on CNN's Larry King Live about gay protesters of her show.
"A listing in the Television section on Sunday for the 1924 film The Sea Hawk carried a fictitious plot summary and named two employees of The Times as the stars. The film, seen Sunday night at 12 on TCM, is actually an adaptation of Rafael Sabatini's 1915 novel about an English nobleman sold into slavery. It stars Milton Sills and Enid Bennett.
"The mock listing came from feature syndicate that maintains The Times' movie capsule database and assembles the daily and weekly listings. An investigation has found that the Sea Hawk entry was one of three dummy listings written at The Times in December 1998 and transmitted to the syndicate to test the technology; they were not supposed to be stored.
"The Sea Hawk had most recently been televised in November 1998 and was not again scheduled until last Sunday. The Times regrets any inconvenience to readers. It is also, frankly, speechless at the coincidence of the April Fool's Day publication."
—An editor's note published in The New York Times on April 2.
"I was watching Sesame Street with my 6-year-old nephew recently, and, sure enough, the kids' classic is still 'brought to you by the letter H and the number 5.' But it is also 'made possible by' pharmaceutical giant and Viagra-maker Pfizer, which 'brings parents the letter Z, as in Zithromax.' Zithromax, for the uninitiated, is a powerful antibiotic sometimes prescribed for children's ear infections. Note how the company is careful to say the message is aimed at parents and not the kids. (The spot features children and a zebra frolicking and a giant colorful tumbling wooden block with the letter 'Z' on its side—parents love playing with blocks.)"
—Brooke Shelby Biggs, on Motherjones.com, on attempts by PBS to sneak advertising into its children's programming.