Kennard Cuts Up
The five FCC commissioners brought down the house Dec. 14 at the annual Chairman's Dinner of the Federal Communications Bar Association with a San Donaldson-narrated video spoof of their sometimes rocky relations during the three-year tenure of William Kennard. Gloria Tristani's contribution earned the biggest applause as she donned a slinky black dress and belted out a torchy rendition of disco hit "I Will Survive." Susan Ness also was a hit for playing off her wait for reappointment. "You mean I have to leave right now," she asks after receiving a call from an unnamed senator (think John McCain). Kennard's own chief antagonist, House Telcomsubcom Chairman Billy Tauzin appeared, calling him a "great" FCC chair, then shook his head, "I'm sorry I can't do this" and exited.
After the tape Kennard, one of the panel's two African-Americans, compared the FCC voting process to Florida's election count. One mock ballot, unclear because all the holes were punched, "must be Susan Ness." No holes punched, the repeatedly dissenting Harold Furchtgott-Roth.