Crocker on Britney: one bad performance deserves another

It’s bad enough that we have to watch Britney’s horrible performance at MTV’s VMAs every time we click a link or change the channel. MSNBC’s Keith Olbermann has dedicated almost as much time to Britney this past week as he has to Gen. Petraeus’ testimony, whether miked or unmiked. (Ok, I have to do it – check out the Daily Show’s take on that at Iraq Me Dave Petraeus — sung to the tune of Rock Me Amadeus, of course. It’s so obvious it hurts a little. While you’re off doing that, check this one out too:  John Hodgman’s eight keys to success.)

Anyway, now we get the terrible news that Britney might take up even more of our time during the Emmys to apologize for being lame. Who knew Britney was going to take that old saying “there’s no such thing as bad publicity” so literally? And who can make her stop?

But wait, there’s more. Now a young, androgynous and sobbing video blogger named Chris Crocker has posted a very emotional defense of Britney.  Just to help you get to know Crocker a little better, he (well, I think he’s a he. I still find eyeliner on men/boys confusing, even though I grew up in the age of Duran Duran and Adam Ant) “believes the best way to educate and spread positivity is through entertainment, which translates to edutainment. Which just so happens to be my specialty.” Nothing about this video link will convince you of any of that, but I just wanted to make note of that mission statement.

By videotaping a two-minute session of himself “shedding real tears,” according to him, because many disbelieve anyone could get so upset, or upset at all really, over Britney’s recent public meltdown, this guy is now an Internet sensation. This clip has been picked up by ABC and CNN, and even superstar bloggers such as myself are writing about it and linking to it.

So let me get this straight: not only do we have to tolerate Britney’s complete domination of all media through horrible and worsening behavior, now we have to tolerate the complete domination of all media through horrible and worsening behavior of a random teenager armed with only a video camera and a blog? I refuse to be surprised when I hear that some agent somewhere has signed this guy to a multi-million Web deal. And I also refuse to be jealous or to be convinced that the apocalypse is fully upon us.

If you need a mental palate cleanser after this post, go watch Hodgman as many times as necessary before the Crocker/Britney combo is out of your system.