Colbert is money

If NASA decides against naming its new space station module “Colbert,” Comedy Central’s late-night host has this going for him: Cash4Gold.com, which gained notoriety during the Super Bowl for its direct response ad featuring Ed McMahon and MC Hammer, plans to propose minting a new global currency starring Colbert himself.”Stephen Colbert embodies a rare combination of publicity-hungry egomania and confidence-inspiring truthiness that makes him the perfect figurehead for the new global currency,” said April Fulstay, Vice President of Comic Genius Relations, Cash4Gold, an outfit that gives people cash for their unwanted gold jewelry.

“The Colbert,” featuring Colbert’s face, will be minted at Cash4Gold’s Pompano, Fla., headquarters using a proprietary gold-nickel-molybdenum alloy known as Truthinessium. Inscribed on the coin will be the new national motto proposed by Cash4Gold: “In God We Trust, Everyone Else Pays Cash.”

Cash4Gold says Fox News’ Bill O’Reilly, MSNBC’s Keith Olbermann, and PBS’ Jim Lehrer each were considered for the honor, but were passed over because the prototypes for their coins proved to be too volatile, brittle, and dull, respectively.

If the U.S. Treasury Department shocks us all by passing on Cash4Gold’s genius April 1 proposal, perhaps Cash4Gold will get what they really want: an appearance on The Colbert Report.