B&C week

Where to be and what to watch...

“Are your kids driving you nuts? Is your house a zoo?” That's ABC.com, seeking applicants for Supernanny (premiere, 10 p.m. ET), with Jo Frost bringing her no-nonsense act over from the UK. But you must meet certain other requirements before qualifying as the sort of hapless parent who allows a bossy-boots Brit to dissect your shortcomings and order your kids around on national TV. For instance, you have to agree not to “become a candidate for elected office until 12 months after the initial broadcast of the last episode in which you appear.” Right: I'm a slob, I can't control my kids, and I'd like your vote.

Never let it be said that the members of the South Dakota Cable Telecommunications Association are a bunch of junketeering media fatcats who don't let too much business interfere with their golf and tennis and poolside obligations. These folks are holding their annual meeting today in frigid Pierre at the shy and unassuming Governor's Inn (“State of the art voicemail for every room”). Tonight, Paula Abdul and her fellow American Idolators come to Fox's rescue (8 p.m. ET,), still basking in the glow of the show's victory over Paris Hilton as Yahoo!'s most-searched term for 2004.

Admit it: You dream of having a home network for the electronics gear that currently snakes enough wiring along your baseboards to run a U2 concert, but you have no idea what “home network” really means. Unfortunately, neither do a lot of people who ought to—just try talking to the cable guy about hooking up wireless modems or meshing TiVo with your high-speed connection. Bless the Society of Cable Telecommunications Engineers and their prez, John Clark, then, for holding a Web-based live seminar, “Home Networking Technologies,” today at 2 p.m. If you're a gearhead who's interested, go to scte.org for more information. If you're a gearhead who has already networked your own home—what's your day rate?

That muttered cursing you hear today in Washington isn't just Democrats—Nancy Pelosi, get a grip—who can't bear President Bush's inauguration (12 noon, pick your channel). It's also FCC and cable-industry lawyers elbowing through the clogged streets and the triple-secret security lockdown to file briefs with the Supreme Court. The cable biz is livid—well, maybe that's too strong a word for their feelings after a six-year legal slog—over rules requiring the companies to let Internet Service Providers piggyback on their broadband networks. The cable position: Hey, what's with this open-access business? Do we look like the phone company? Five bucks to anybody in the court who yells VoIP! VoIP! Tonight, Donald Trump returns with the third edition of The Apprentice (NBC, 8 p.m. ET). The network will interrupt the broadcast of the still-unfolding second-season finale.

Tony Shalhoub returns tonight (USA, 9 p.m. ET) as the detective with Obsessive Compulsive Disorder in the season premiere of Monk. Or as we like to refer to the show: “The OCD.” This season, Monk switches out sidekick Bitty Schram for ex-Two Guys and a Girl star Traylor Howard. The network is teaming up with Lysol for a contest with they're calling “Clean Up With Monk.” “Is Your House a Zoo?” was already taken.

Email info for B&C Week to b&cweek@reedbusiness.com