Throw the Book at ’Em
By Staff -- Broadcasting & Cable, 3/5/2006 7:00:00 PM
What has the cast of The Sopranos been doing during those looooong stretches of hiatus? Putting pen to paper, apparently. About a dozen books are credited to Sopranos cast members (with a little help from ghostwriters and co-authors), from Jamie-Lynn Sigler to Frank Vincent to Steve Schirripa—and more Steve Schirripa. There are how-to books and memoirs. There are novels and cookbooks, and even a novel/cookbook. Some have wisdom. Some have violence. All have Italian food.
Schirripa is by far the most prolific, with The Goomba’s Guide to Life, The Goomba’s Book of Love and young-adult novel Nicky Deuce currently on shelves. The Goomba Diet lands in May, and a Nicky Deuce Christmas book arrives later this year. Schirripa, whose co-author is Charles Fleming, says he has some non-Goomba-related books in him, too. “I’m not done yet,” he says. “The book business hasn’t seen the last of me.”
A guide to the Sopranos literary canon:
| Title | Author | What It’s About | Ode to Italian Cuisine | What You’ll Learn |
| A Meal To Die For | Joseph R. Gannascoli (Vito Spatafore) | Benny is a gourmet chef who has been summoned to cook up an elaborate meal for some “family” members. Will he end the evening with “lead in the head”? | “He let the slice of meat sit on his tongue for a couple of seconds before he chewed it. Oh yeah, he thought.” | “Oil/wine transfusion” is when cheap grape or olive oil is funneled into high-quality containers and sold to unknowing customers. |
| A Guy’s Guide to Being a Man’s Man | Frank Vincent (Phil Leotardo) | The title says it all. | “If you’re Italian and your girlfriend wants mayo on her meatballs, it’s definitely over.” | “A man’s man is not afraid to be in the presence of his current woman’s ex-boyfriend.” |
| Shut Up and Eat! | Tony Lip (Carmine Lupertazzi Sr.) | A collection of “heartwarming stories and mouthwatering recipes” from your “favorite Italian-American stars” | “The smells of homemade Italian cooking—the meat gravy, grilled sausage and pepper, fresh-baked Italian bread, and delicious Italian pastries—filled the air as their delicious fragrances floated out from all the kitchen windows.” | Good Italian food is too precious for people to sit at a table and talk. So shut up and eat! |
| Entertaining With the Sopranos | “Compiled by” Carmela Soprano | Homemaker Carmela dishes advice on how to make every event the perfect occasion. | “Googootz—a very long, pale green summer squash. Also used for zucchini or a dish using zucchini. Just a fun word to throw around.” | Screaming and excessive back-patting at a surprise party for an old person could lead to heart failure. |
| The Goomba Diet | Steve Schirripa (Bobby Bacala) | Approaching life—family, sex, being a Sopranos cast member—as if it were a plate of gabagool | “Never use olive oil as a sexual lubricant. This is a waste of olive oil.” | A Meal To Die For author Joe Gannascoli collects bobble-head dolls. |
| The Goomba’s Book of Love | Steve Schirripa | Stories from his youth, and the scores of women he and his friends bedded | Under “Goomba Pickup Lines”: “Would you like a bite of pepperoni?” | Tip the pool man at a resort, and he’ll send the hot women your way. |
| The Goomba’s Guide to Life | Steve Schirripa | Living life the good goomba way | “Maybe it’s a nice veal roast, or maybe a veal chop, or a chicken. Or an osso bucco.” | The word “goomba” probably came from “compadre.” |
| Nicky Deuce | Steve Schirripa | Suburban kid spends summer in Brooklyn and learns about his Italian heritage. | “You can call it pasta sauce if you want. But don’t if you want to be a goomba. No goomba calls it 'pasta.’” | Friday night is for the boys and goomars, Saturday night for the wife and family. |
| Wise Girl | Jamie-Lynn Sigler (Meadow Soprano) | Her rise from tomboy kid on Long Island to playing Meadow | “[Gandolfini] ordered me an eggplant parmesan sandwich, and the rest of my castmates gathered around and comforted me.” | Meadow was supposedly conceived in the parking lot of the Meadowlands! |
| The Sopranos Family Cookbook | “Compiled by” Artie Bucco | Italian recipes from Bucco’s Vesuvio restaurant in New Jersey | “Never have there been better times in my life than … sitting down to an evening meal of pork chops with peppers and garlic and laughing about the day’s events.” | Don’t eat gabagool that’s been sitting out for a week. |
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