Al Sharpton Filling Liberal Seat on 'Hannity' Premiere
Rep. Michelle Bachman (R-Minn.) will fill the seat on the right
By Marisa Guthrie -- Broadcasting & Cable, 1/8/2009 10:06:00 AM
The new Alan Colmes-less Hannity premieres Monday with frequent Fox News guest Al Sharpton filling the liberal seat on Sean Hannity's newly christened "Great American Panel."
Rep. Michelle Bachman (R-Minn.) will fill the seat on the right. (And she should have plenty to talk about given the Senate dispute in her state between Al Franken and Norm Coleman.)
The X-factor on the panel: Meatloaf.
Monday's show will include a sit-down with George W. Bush. Hannity will conduct the interview Friday at the White House.
Hannity will employ a rotating panel in lieu of a permanent ideological counterpoint. The show will also bow a few new elements including the Hate Hannity Hotline featuring highlights from Hannity haters.
I know I shouldnâ€™t waste my time even thinking about this character but I canâ€™t help it. My mom said Iâ€™m a worrier, got it from my dadâ€™s side of the family. I guess he had a lot of trouble even getting out of bed some dayâ€™s. He had a shrink and everything but he just couldnâ€™t stop worrying about stuff. My mom said it wasnâ€™t the reason she kicked him out when I was like 10 but I do know he really got on her nerves. Even now when my dad and I hang out he still has a tough time not worrying about stuff that normal people just donâ€™t bother with. Like whether the garbage man will see something cool and fall in some can while reaching for it and get compacted with the real garbage. Or whether the sun might not come up someday or a python snake might escape from the zoo and slink out of the water faucet in the kitchen. Most of the stuff he stewed about had people dying. Not many happy thoughts from my dad.
So that might give you some info on why I am worried right now about that dickhead Sean Hannity going solo on Fox News five nights a week. Six when you count his Hannityâ€™s America on the weekends. Thatâ€™s a lot of airtime to fill without his little buddy Alan Colmes. The Fox News suits are saying Colmes left cuz he wanted to spend more time with his family but thatâ€™s what even the mafia says when they whack someone. Itâ€™s one of those lies that covers just about everything. I guess I should be worrying more about him than Hannity. I know this but I just canâ€™t. I think it may be cuz I have low self esteem. It goes way back man, Iâ€™ve always looked up to bullies. Nobody could understand why after I would get beat up in grade school by whatever tough guy ruled the playground I would always say thank you. I guess I always thought I deserved it.
When I watch Sean Hannity on Fox News itâ€™s pretty clear heâ€™s flipping off people like me but for some reason I still tune in about every night and yeah, I do feel a little tingle in my toes that travels up to my ears when he first comes on the screen. The love/hate thing is a strange one. It messes your head up big time. I guess I should be happy itâ€™s only happened twice in my life, once with my stepfather and now with this Fox hack. What Iâ€™m most worried about right now is whether Sean will be able to deal with life without his toy poodle Alan cuz he really came in handy whenever he wanted to raise his leg on someone just to show he could. No one could take being urinated on as good as Alan Colmes. He was the best on tv. Better than that blonde chick Mika something on MSNBCâ€™s Morning Joe or that pussy husband on Jon & Kate Plus 8 on TLC. Boy is that guy ball less or what? Wait a second. Maybe he might be interested in taking Alanâ€™s spot? Now thereâ€™s a guy who would never quit a job to spend more time with his family! Not with that wife from beyond hell hanging around the house. I may have a soft spot for bullies but sheâ€™s like evil to the tenth power. I mean Iâ€™m not really into dudes. Not my thing but if that Kate lady was the only woman on earth I would give it a shot before she got the chance to put a diaper on me too.
I know Sean hasnâ€™t even had a chance yet to do his Hannity & Himself show so why worry about him? It starts next week. I guess I do because itâ€™s who I am. What if he starts to get really nasty now that he doesnâ€™t have to give up the 30 seconds of airtime he tosses Alanâ€™s way? Itâ€™s one thing to spew junk knowing that someone else would get a couple seconds to present a weak version of the other side and then give you a free shot to tee off on them after a telegraphed counter punch, itâ€™s totally another to have to slug the air cuz thereâ€™s no one there to sock below the belt. How boring. I know his staff if going to book a bunch of patsies. In boxing they call them stiffs. In football they call them underdogâ€™s or dead meat. In the NBA they call them the Thunder. Like I said boring tv. Who wants to see a total blowout? I know, I know, Itâ€™s been said that Alan was the Washington Generals for Sean. You knew who was going to win but at least they pretended it was a real game. Sort of like Pro Wrestling. Now theyâ€™re going to hand pick 3 or 4 different Lee Harvey Oswaldâ€™s to take the fall every night and it wonâ€™t be the same. Without a pretend â€œhouse liberalâ€ the show could go off the tracks and get cancelled. God knows that the number of idiots who buy the line of trash from Fox speak and Rush is shrinking faster than a meth addictâ€™s body mass so they better get this right. We need to see people like this out in the open cuz they keep us on our toes. They speak to people that are all around us. Our relatives, our drinking buddies, our golfers. I worry that without the gays, blacks, Mexicans and terrorists to fume about they could go out and do something really bad so what Iâ€™m saying here is America does really need dudes like Hannity. He is a video version of methadone that keeps a bunch of angry white people from losing it and for that we should be grateful. I really should start worrying about nicer people so tomorrow Iâ€™m thinking of fretting about Oprahâ€™s weight again. Iâ€™ll let you know how that goes. Later.
Spike Jensen - 1/9/2009 9:09:00 PM EST
Why even bother anymore with Hannity? He's as irrevelant as Sarah Palin. Let them both don camo outfits and go hunt moose in the Alaskan wilderness.
joseph chavez - 1/9/2009 6:59:00 PM EST
Hannity is an empty vessel who has turned lying and mud slinging into a very lucrative career. He doesn't know what he's talking about half the time and when someone actually counters him with the truth he turns into a whining, first grader who starts screaming at his guests. He needs psychological help as he stopped maturing at about 14.
Miz Brennan - 1/9/2009 4:17:00 PM EST
Mr Hannity, thanks for your great news program! But I want to ask, why no news on OBAMA'S COLB? Why is the media including you so quiet on this subject?? Mr Obama should be required to submit his live birth certificate, his college records, health ect. to the american people. Don't you agree?
mike kidwiler - 1/9/2009 4:08:00 PM EST
I like Hannity and could not stand Alan Colmes so I am glad to see that change, but I do admit that one of the least interesting people to have sit in would be Al Sharpton. Ugh He is boring and self important.
Donna Kaye - 1/9/2009 4:06:00 PM EST
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